Fears Realised


On Friday the 23rd March, 2007, my mother telephoned me to say that my Nan has been diagnosed with lung cancer, with multiple secondary tumors.

Obviously, I felt numb, shocked, saddened and all the other things one expects. However, I have enough support around me, and enough clinical experience to tell me that this isn’t necessarily a death sentence. We have been given an opportunity, a chance. The chance to say our goodbyes properly. The opportunity to plan and make arrangements and moreover, the blessing of being allowed to say the things we want to but have always held back. Things like how spending weekends and summers with my grandparents were among the very best days of my life. Times such as car journeys to the coast and digging up the garden. Memories of strawberry picking and baking in the kitchen with Nan. Just telling about how much love was shared between us, and how better my life has been enriched because of them… The much loved second-parents, commonly known as grandparents. She’s not gone yet, so we’ll have some fun, some whiskey and some cake… and probably a happy tear along the way. I love you Nan, and Gramp – I’ve never forgotten you. I love you; you were the father I always needed…Goodbye for now, more soon no doubt… x

August 2008 Update to this entry: An Ending…. Read in this order:Homeward Bound
Yesterday, The Day of the Funeral
Some old photos dug out, and fresh hells.

I’ll write a reflection on this very soon, but not today…

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