Suffering just ‘is’

“Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build character. It only hurts.”

— Kate Jacobs; ‘Comfort Food’

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Photo: Teen Angst ~ a Graffiti Love Plea

Posted from: Vale of Glamorgan CF64 3AW, UKWritten on a handrail, this angst-ridden teen love graffiti was found today in Penarth, on the steep steps above the esplanade (near the Bay Leaf Restaurant) leading to Alexandra Park. Transcription below…

“Mickey, I’ll be easy going, you can do what you want, see the boys as much as you want, I’ll never hit you except in play-fights where I batter you! When I look into your eyes I know what I want, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I’ve messed up but please I’ll do whatever you want. You will always be my best friend and I won’t control you, I’ll never give up on you, and if turtlepillar does die completely then I’ll still come down here and think of you. I can’t live without you, it’s so hard to know that you’re not mine. Please don’t give up on me baby. I want you so badly, I love you xxxx”

Who’s Mickey? Who wrote this? More curiously, who (or what) is ‘turtlepillar?’ contra omnia discrimina

Guest Author, Zan Anselmo, on What Love Really Is

Zan Anselmo, a friend, writer, artist and fellow CFS advocate wrote the following short observation on what love really is. I found it profound, accurate, personal, insightful and incredibly honest. It actually brought a tear to my eye through it’s insightfulness. She kindly agreed to sharing it here:
I KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
– Zan Anselmo 

I woke up and realized the script I was writing is a fake. I lost myself in delusional dreams, but now, I’m finally awake. Because what I thought was love, was never really love. I thought the ache in my heart was an indicator that this is real. I thought misery is what love makes you feel. But I woke up, and realized I didn’t know what love is. I thought love was something bad, and I wished it was something I never had. But I woke up, and finally figured out what love is. And love was never about me, or searching for someone to set me free. Love is about waking up from your own dream, and seeing people as they truly are. It’s about loving them unconditionally from your heart. And love isn’t about hating someone that doesn’t serve your needs, and love isn’t about what you can do for me. I woke up and finally figured out what love is. And everywhere I turn, people are writing their own unique scripts and stories, full of pain, jealously, envy, remorse and sorrow….and they sit there wishing, praying they’ll find love tomorrow. But I know, love does not suffer and love does not hate. Love is patient, and love will wait. And I woke up, and finally figured out what love is. No one seems to see it, no one seems to feel it, because they keep searching outside. And when these external forces wound them, they quickly run and hide. But I woke up today, and finally knew what love was, and I knew it was love, because I watched the pain dissipate from my soul.
contra omnia discrimina

Maybe this Time – Cabaret – Liza Minnelli

Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky,
Maybe this time, he’ll stay, Maybe this time,
For the first time, Love won’t hurry away. He will hold me fast,
I’ll be home at last, Not a loser anymore, Like the last time, And the time before. Everybody loves a winner, So nobody loved me; ‘Lady Peaceful,’ ‘Lady Happy,’ That’s what I long to be,
All the odds are in my favour, Something’s bound to begin, It’s got to happen, happen sometime,
Maybe this time I’ll win…..

Maybe this time, I’ll be lucky, Maybe this time, he’ll stay,
Maybe this time,
For the first time,
Love won’t hurry away. He will hold me fast,
I’ll be home at last,
Not a loser anymore,
Like the last time, And the time before. Everybody loves a winner,
So nobody loved me; ‘Lady Peaceful,’ ‘Lady Happy,’ That’s what I long to be, All the odds are in my favour, Something’s bound to begin! It’s got to happen, happen sometime Maybe this time, maybe this time, I’ll win…..